Shino's Delivery Service
by geneee
Summary: Tsuna would rather not have whatever the hell destroyed Vongola equipment blast open the now sad-looking door and flatten them against the walls, thank you very much. With a mechanical groan, the door slides open— "Who are you and why have you come here?" "I'm your deliverer for today. Thank you for using Shino's Delivery Service!" (Basically, Postmates meets the mafia.)


**I know someone who works for Postmates, and I'm a sucker for civilians meet mafia weirdos so… yeah. Here's what happens when I remember that a thing exists.**

 **I am working on** _ **Good Morning**_ **too, BUT I thought about this story idea for an entire day and even came up with the outlines for three chapters. So, here you go.**

 **I'm just having some fun lol. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 1: Takanashi Miya

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Tsuna jolts awake after what was definitely not enough sleep. Blearily rubbing his eyes, he turns over to squint his alarm clock. It's midnight. Why the hell is he awake? He rolls over to his other side with a huff. Whatever. Just as sleep begins to beckon him again, an explosion goes off in the distance.

He sighs and pushes himself up to sit. If Giannini and Spanner have blown up one more questionable invention in this place, then it's time to have words. He just wants to get some sleep dammit! Grabbing a hoodie hanging off the bedpost, Tsuna shoves his arms through the sleeves just as his bedroom door bangs open.

"Sorry to disturb you at this hour," —Hayato winces at Tsuna's glare— "but there's something in the experimental block."

Why couldn't have something actually gone up in flames?

Grabbing his mittens and headphones off the side table, Tsuna makes his way to the adjoined bathroom to put on his contacts. "Just one?"

"Yes." Hayato's face goes grim. "It's making its way through the block."

Tsuna nearly drops his contacts. Thankfully, he manages to catch them at the last minute. "Did you say _through_ the block? Are you sure?"

"Positive. The testing equipment has been activated." Hayato follows him out of the room, and Tsuna slips his bare feet into his sneakers as he exits. He can practically hear Reborn scolding him over his shoulder for his attire, but he's supposed to be _asleep_ in an old school shirt and sweatpants, not finding some sort of superpowered intruder in the middle of the night. Reborn can shove it.

"And the prototypes?"

"We think they're going off too."

The mechanical sound of a machine gun firing grows louder as they approach. Hm, yeah. That would be Giannini's newest toy. It's a shame he still hasn't been able to figure out how to fire multiple flame coated bullets at the same time. A hideous explosion rocks the ground, but Tsuna manages to keep himself from stumbling. There it goes. Poor Giannini.

"They're _still_ getting through?" He cries out. "How is this even possible? Are the Varia making a surprise visit or something?"

"Uh, that's not all." Tsuna's jaw clenches at Hayato's words. He does _not_ have the energy to deal with this right now. "The back door is currently out of order and is unable to close."

"…When is it supposed to get fixed, Hayato?"

"…Tomorrow."

There must be some cosmic power out to get him.

An awful screech echoes down the hall, which is followed by a heavy crash. And then two more. He's pretty sure he can hear the sound of wood splintering as well. Why doesn't anyone respect the infrastructure? Is it really that hard? At this point, he can literally hear the gears grinding ahead of him. He also sees that the rest of his friends have gathered, save Hibari and Mukuro, both of whom are currently off doing who knows what. They stand at ready in front of the multi-locked steel door leading to the experimental block.

"Ah, Tsuna!" Takeshi calls out to him with a grin. "You're all right."

"There's something extreme in there!" Ryohei adds.

"Do you know what's going on?" Chrome's eye slides over to Tsuna briefly in acknowledgment before returning to the door.

"There's an intruder in there. I don't know who or what though." Tsuna closes his eyes and feels familiar resolve burn in his chest. With a deep breath, he guides the feeling throughout his body. After ten years, the process has become second nature to him. When he opens his eyes again, the dying will flame flickers to life.

"It's way too late for this," Lambo grumbles into his helmet. "Can't they wait like, ten hours?"

"You're supposed to be up before then anyway," Tsuna reminds him, though he suppresses a smile. How time has flown.

"High school sucks," he mutters.

It's at this moment when Tsuna notices that Lambo is standing barefoot in his cow print pajama pants. Now he feels a little bad. The rest of his friends are at least wearing shoes. Hayato is even in his suit, though Tsuna suspects that's probably because he's just returned from a conference. He probably hasn't even showered yet. Ew.

"I wonder what's going on in there?" The words leave Takeshi's mouth just as a deafening bang goes off in front of them. Oh, goody, another explosion. Spanner will have a field day with the data he can gain from this.

It's not like they don't know anyone capable of this, but those people wouldn't go try to enter this way! Sure, Xanxus would never use the front door and would find a way to sneak in before he realizes it, and yes, Byakuran would probably just materialize directly into his bedroom just to scare the crap out of him, but even they'd avoid the most unnecessarily tedious area to get in. There's like five feet of steel between him and the block right now!

Tsuna nearly jumps out of his skin when something barrels into the other side of the door and leaves a _freaking dent_. Really? Really?! Hayato swears as two more objects lodge themselves into the battered steel.

After another brief pause, groaning metal crashes and rocks the floor again. When the shaking stops, all is silent. Tsuna exchanges glances with his friends as they listen carefully for any movement. A few seconds pass, but nothing more happens. Tentatively, Tsuna moves to press to his hand against the side panel to open the door. He'd rather not have whatever the hell destroyed Vongola equipment blast open the now sad-looking door and flatten them against the walls, thank you very much. With a mechanical groan, the door slides open—

—and there stands a single woman with a bag slung over her shoulders.

"Oh! Thank you very much! I wasn't sure how I was going to get that open." She shrugs off her bag and pulls out a small, rectangular wooden box. With a bright smile, she walks past the door, stepping over plaster and metal debris. "Which one of you is Otonagi Aoi-san?"

Now that she's come closer, Tsuna can make out some sort of logo on the left breast of her white jacket. Shino's? No, hold on a minute. That's not important right now. He looks behind her for possible reinforcements, but all he sees is destruction and chaos. He looks back at the intruder, who gives him a curious stare, but besides noticing the dust on her black leggings, there's nothing about her that gives him a bad feeling.

"Who are you and why have you come here?" he asks.

The woman gives him a winning smile and says, "I'm Takanashi, your deliverer for today. Thank you for using Shino's Delivery Service!"

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Miya blows her hair out of her face for the millionth time as she leans on the counter with her elbows. A few black strands never stay put, no matter how many pins she uses. Taking out some pins, she tries to smooth her bangs to the side, but the same pesky lock falls free again. Darn. If Haruto were here, he'd probably be able to do it. She sighs and slides the pins back into the place.

Absentmindedly, she plays with the end of her ponytail, twirling the dyed gray-blue ends around her finger. She dyed it a while back, and the black to blue gradient turned out better than she'd hoped. Even Shino complimented it when he first saw it. Speaking of which, he's getting off the phone right now. She perks up and walks over to him as he finishes writing a memo.

Peering down at her over his glasses, which have slipped down his nose as usual, he hands her the note and says, "One pork chop bento from Huang's House."

"Where to?"

"Otonagi Aoi's house. It's on the outskirts of town, so I got instructions on how to get there."

"And did you write them down?"

"That was one time!"

Shino scowls at her, and she ducks out of his reach before he can retaliate. Miya titters as she calls back, "It was twice!"

"Hurry up and go do your job, Takanashi," he grumbles. "Oh, get me one too. I'll pay you get back."

Miya slips into her uniform windbreaker jacket over her turquoise-green polo shirt (also her uniform) before zipping the note into one of the pockets. Grabbing a helmet off the counter, she heads out to the motor scooters out front. Both helmet and scooter are white and green of course—Shino may be lazy, but you can't say he doesn't have an eye for detail.

It takes her about ten minutes to make it to Huang's House (Shino called when she left to ensure punctuality), and another fifteen to make it to the outskirts of town. The sky is clear, thankfully, and the stars twinkle overhead. She has long left the wide, paved roads of downtown Namimori. Pulling over by a streetlamp, she takes out the note. So far, she's on track.

She frowns when she reads the instructions. Turn right at the bear-shaped bush? Continue straight from the boulder after the second stop sign to the broken signpost? Go through the fence? What the heck? Why can't Shino ask for normal directions?

Miya unzips her other pocket and takes out her phone to call him, but the screen tells her that there's no service out here. She sighs. Of course, this would happen right after she teases him about the instructions.

Well, there's nothing she can do about it now. Kicking off the ground, she continues her journey to Otonagi Aoi's house. She thankfully does manage to find a vaguely animal-shaped bush, which she nearly rides past if it weren't for her headlights. She doesn't see a broken signpost, but she does find an intact signpost, so that's probably it, right?

She arrives at a towering, wrought iron fence twenty-five minutes later. Past the fence lies a courtyard that separates the gate from the side of a large building further inside. Wow, Otonagi must be really wealthy. Unfortunately, there's no gate anywhere nearby. Miya looks up at the fence. It's around three meters high, with angled bars on top. Well, the instructions say to go through, so go through she shall.

Securing her bag over her shoulders, Miya grasps the bars with both hands and begins to climb. She scales the top easily and lands with a quiet thump, rolling forward to absorb the impact. Upon uprighting herself, she reaches back to feel the bottom of her bag. The bento hasn't moved. Nice.

She checks her watch for the time. Eight minutes left. She walks quickly across the grass, making it to the nondescript door she notices in the dim light. Miya knocks on the door, but no one responds. She checks the time again. Six minutes. No, she won't let this be the end. She will make sure Otonagi Aoi gets this bento tonight!

Sliding two pins out of her hair, she fashions them into crude lock picks and inserts them into the lock. It clicks open within seconds. She grins and tucks the pins into her pocket for later disposal. It'd be terrible customer service if she littered on her customer's property. With over five minutes to spare, she triumphantly walks into the building… and then sees another door.

Weirdly enough, however, this door is already open. She's thankful though—this door has a keypad and scanner. She owes whoever left the door open a bento (somewhere in the mansion, a sneeze echoes). When she steps through that one, she's met with the sight of dozens of odd contraptions, some of which are recognizable, like that really realistic machine gun over there, and some of which that shouldn't be able to exist, like that levitating, multi-colored object that keeps changing shape every few seconds.

"Otonagi-san?" Miya calls out. "Otonagi-san, I'm from Shino's, and I have your bento!"

No response. Hm, that's weird. She followed the instructions though and made it to the house, so she should be in the right place. This place is not what she was expecting, but to each their own. There's a whole section of wall dedicated to large, heavy duty targets with a strange projectile machine in front of them. She steps closer to get a better look at the targets, which are riddled with holes and burn marks, and ends up standing next to the strange machine.

Across the room, she spots sliding doors. Perfect, Otonagi might hear her better if she goes further inside. Miya turns away from the target wall with a hum, and her bag swings around with her with a heavy thunk and something shattering. Wait. Her bag isn't supposed to make that sound.

She goes to check if the bento is okay when she hears a low crackle from behind her. She turns just in time to see the projectile machine on the floor with its barrel aimed at her and green sparks coming out of the opening.

Miya lunges to the side as the machine goes off, spitting out glowing green needles that embed themselves into the wall. She dives behind the nearest contraption, clutching her bag to her body. The dull thud of needles meeting wall changes as the needles screech across metal, and she peers over the top of her barrier to see dozens of needles buried in the machine gun she saw. The machine gun starts to smoke, and she slowly moves to the next impromptu shield.

The gun goes off a few times, but only a single red bullet strikes the frame of the doors she had come through. The recoil causes the device to shift slightly to the side. It goes off again, this time with three different colored bullets, and hits to the left of the frame. It moves again, and this time, Miya finds herself in the projectile's path.

She dives forward as the rounds are fired one after another, littering the walls with a haphazard line of holes. With each pause, she covers a little more distance. She peers over from behind a table she's flipped over to track the gun's trajectory. She follows its newest direction and ends at the multicolored shapeshifting wonder. Oh no.

The gun fires. The object is hit. Everything goes to hell.

Miya runs for the door just as the room lights up rainbow and the object explodes. And then keeps exploding. She takes off too, sailing through the air for a second before rolling forward to hit the ground safely. Balls of purple light come into being all around her, too numerous to count. They change to red and then detonate, blowing plaster and metal parts into the air. Miya throws herself to the side to avoid a falling beam and then leans to the left to avoid the metal shrapnel that flies past her. A missile flies ahead of her and explodes against the sliding doors, and she runs through the hole left behind.

The moment she passes through, multiple ceiling panels slide open and reveal more weapons. The hallway isn't very wide, so Miya goes into a slide as a gun part sails over her head and impacts one of the ceiling devices. A yellow energy suddenly pulses past her, and the weapons overhead fire erratically, shooting the floor, the walls, and each other. The metal panels above her groan before she leaps forward, and it crashes to the ground.

There! At the end of the hall lies a sturdy steel door, with another keypad and scanner. Suddenly, she backpedals and lifts the fallen panels in front of her. A green flash and resounding bang leave her ears ringing, and metal screeches as it rains down around her. Two more go off, and Miya shifts the panel to slightly above her to take the brunt of the metal column that lodges itself into the wall just above her.

The explosions stop. She looks behind her, and all of the ceiling devices are either gone or mangled into unrecognizable pieces. Throwing aside the makeshift shield, she stands and checks her watch. One minute left. There's still time.

Miya walks over to the door, where three bowling ball sized craters remain. She doesn't see any way of opening it besides the keypad and scanner, which she's fairly sure she won't be able to use. No, this isn't how this should end!

The damaged steel lets out a mechanical groan, and the door slides open. Miya sees a group of people probably a bit older than her, wielding weapons of different kinds but staring at her with identical expressions of surprise. The one with the flaming forehead (she wonders how that works) has his hand hovering over the panel. He must have been the one who opened it for her. Yes! She made it!

"Oh! Thank you very much! I wasn't sure how I was going to get that open." She shrugs off her bag and pulls out the wooden bento box. With a bright smile, she walks past the door, stepping over plaster and metal debris. "Which one of you is Otonagi Aoi-san?"

The forehead man gives her a bewildered look before shaking himself out of it. "Who are you and why have you come here?"

She gives him her best employee smile and says, "I'm Takanashi, your deliverer for today. Thank you for using Shino's Delivery Service!"

"Shino's…Delivery Service?" he repeats with a furrowed brow.

"Yes," Miya nods and looks at the rest of the group. "Otonagi Aoi-san ordered a pork chop bento from Huang's House."

"You're… You're a delivery person?" Forehead Man continues to stare at her in confusion, and now it's her turn to frown.

"Yes? Is Otonagi-san not here?"

A relieved laugh breaks out, and both Miya and Forehead Man turn to the tall man with a scar on his chin sheathing the sword.

"Takanashi, right?" Sword Guy asks. She nods. "I think you made a wrong turn somewhere. There's no one named Otonagi Aoi here."

What?

Miya's eyes go wide, and she looks wildly at each person, who shake their heads in confirmation. It can't be. She followed the instructions to a T! She even went 'through the fence!' Then, this means…

She… failed?

"I'm so sorry!" she wails, and the group jumps in surprise. "I can't believe I got the wrong house!"

"Uh, don't worry about it?" says Forehead Man. "…Everyone makes mistakes?"

This is so embarrassing! On top on getting the wrong house, she also ran out of time. She's only just passed the three month period! She's never messed up a delivery before! What if Shino decides to fire her? How is she going to find another job?

No, no, it's okay. Shino said that it's okay to make a mistake as long as you acknowledge and learn from it. Besides, company policy exists for this very reason. Taking a deep breath, Miya reaches into her bag and pulls out a pair of chopsticks. Placing them on top bento, she smiles and holds it out to Forehead Man. "On behalf of Shino's, I'd like to give this to you free of charge."

"Huh? But I didn't order this."

"I have an extra bento with me," she explains. "This is my way of apologizing for bothering you so late."

"Wait, wait, wait," says the silver haired punk. He narrows his eyes at her. " _How_ did you get here in the first place?"

What a weird question. "I rode a motor scooter."

"No, not that!" Punk Dude scowls at her. "What the hell happened in there?"

"Oh, I apologize for that." She bows deeply. "My bag knocked over one of the devices, and it went off. Please don't fault Shino's for this. It was my own fault."

Punk Dude does not look happy with her answer. In fact, his face is turning a concerning shade of red. Forehead Man notices and cuts in with a weary smile. "Don't worry, we won't do that. Please, go home. It's late."

Miya nods. It's time for her to clock out anyway. Reaching into her bag, she fishes out a business card and presents it to Forehead Man, and he takes it. "Please let us know if you'd like a meal delivered. We'll give it to you free of charge if we cannot deliver within the agreed upon time limit."

She turns and makes her way back to the scooter, stepping over debris and avoiding craters in the floor. The moon seems to shine brighter than normal when Miya gets back to the parked vehicle. A smile plays at her lips as she starts the engine. Perhaps she messed up a delivery for the first time, but she managed to get a potential new client! Shino definitely won't fire her now!


End file.
